Wednesday, February 13, 2008

5

First Thought:
Valentine's Day is tomorrow -
Do I try to go and pick up last minute gifts
or do I access my creative side and do something to knock their socks off?
hmmm...

Second Thought:
Im not the one to be made a whole lot of promises
Which is exactly why I no longer like to ask people to do things for me or to help me do something
or the other hand I like surprises
It prevents me from being disappointed if I know that you planned to help me out or do something for me/with and I wasnt even expecting it...

Third Thought:
Discipline
How do you break a bad habbit
I know the bible says to "flee temptation"
I guess this is a part of growing up
having more self-control

Forth Thought:
Hmmm... My mom used to say to me - obedience is better than sacrifice
I thought I had to sacrifice someone special to me last week
I thought that in one sense gotten out of making a decision even though Ive seemed to prolong it by not addressing the issue (there's a purple elephant in the room drinking coffee - lol)

Last Thought:
If I knew then - What I know now
Would I still make the same decision?
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about how I dont reveal the "real me" more. Seems as if I have convinced myself that the masses wont be able to understand this girl and so subpress - who she is, what she is - until there she is doing something "we" didnt know she would or could do
It is my own fault
It is on me
It is a problem I created
Thus, its a problem only I can solve
Just to think - I hated math in school

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