Monday, August 07, 2006

Dealing with the fact that Im "special"

Most people in my life - take an interest in me, as if Im such an Extraordinary person (eventhough I am) - This only make me (at times) put pressure on myself to "perform" (although making people smile comes naturally).

But that aint me
I sometimes say
Who are you
to stand in my way
a piece of mind
I have to give
for me alone
I want to live

I like to be kissed
but not a first
I hold it all in
until I burst

I know what they mean
when they say
a curse and a gift
read in between the lines
until u catch my drift

I wish I could make it
more plain
but I wont
tell me - what to do
but dont
tell me - love is untrue

I'll keep trying
until I die of it
its alright
if I cry a bit

I keep looking at the road of ahead
they keep telling me
rockin roll is dead
they musta been talking about the beattles instead
cuz i keep hearin the sound
chanting my name
as I got knocked down
I get back up
cause I can not loose
I say it to u
but u must be confused

Still smiling and dancing
while I regain my composure
its gonna take the best of me
to prove to you - what I told ya

I didnt know I could take a hit like this
I was sure I didnt wanna deal with this

But there's no one else here but me

Its no one's responsibility
to fulfill my destiny

Once I realize what I gotta do
I cant fail
even if I wanted to
I must prevail
Even though I wasnt trying to

its what's inside of me
and I cant fight myself no more

See, that was not on purpose

Back then: When I first began this blog journey I often talked about how I hated the fact that people would put me in a box called Sean (business name), Shonda (what my family calls me), Laseandia (my biological reference, Im still figuring out), Hamani ( a split personality), or even "that girl."

Sometimes I make mistakes yall and it seems like I have more people watching my fall than the average (N) - Dont watch me - Watch TV
P.S. Some of yall need Jesus - and Im not kidding
You keep tryna do everything on your own and you aint really doing it
What's gonna happen when it all falls a part?


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