My personal Journal Entry
May 25, 2006
I am my father's child - although I thought the saying was - I am my mother's child (especially growing up). Its amazing how you can not be around someone and still have their DNA affect you. I never confessed I didnt want to be like him. I actually remember saying that about my mother more. And, here I am with characteristics I cant explain because I dont really know that person and HE - dont know me either.
Yesterday, I wondered why Im reaching for a hand thats not there. Lack of a male role model (I suppose) that everyone doesnt have.
Most people (stronger people) have gotten over most of this by now... But, I find myself being VERY narrative - because too often I wish I could share my true thoughts and not have them edited by fellow listeners - Saying "dont you mean..."
I wish I could really answer that question - because by the time it comes out of my mouth and If you dont get whats coming out of my mouth - Even I, dont know (now...) what I really meant to say.
My handwritting is messy - does everything have to be perfect? (Yes, thats a question)
Recently, Ive been wanting to be alone only to be by myself and realize that its too quiet in my house ( I can hear all the noises now)
What do I really want? (Repeat question - until answer is give...Hint - Hint.. GOD)
Okay, so I got the information - What to do now?
(Hmm... How to process)
Ive been walking around with a bad attitude -
I guess I need to have a long sit down conversation with my flesh - obvisiously she didnt get the memo (your no longer in charge)
Hebrews 11 :6 But without faith it is impossible to please him...
Wow... who is this girl - who moves back and forth - in between the lines
P.S. my feelings are not my actions
I am my father's child - although I thought the saying was - I am my mother's child (especially growing up). Its amazing how you can not be around someone and still have their DNA affect you. I never confessed I didnt want to be like him. I actually remember saying that about my mother more. And, here I am with characteristics I cant explain because I dont really know that person and HE - dont know me either.
Yesterday, I wondered why Im reaching for a hand thats not there. Lack of a male role model (I suppose) that everyone doesnt have.
Most people (stronger people) have gotten over most of this by now... But, I find myself being VERY narrative - because too often I wish I could share my true thoughts and not have them edited by fellow listeners - Saying "dont you mean..."
I wish I could really answer that question - because by the time it comes out of my mouth and If you dont get whats coming out of my mouth - Even I, dont know (now...) what I really meant to say.
My handwritting is messy - does everything have to be perfect? (Yes, thats a question)
Recently, Ive been wanting to be alone only to be by myself and realize that its too quiet in my house ( I can hear all the noises now)
What do I really want? (Repeat question - until answer is give...Hint - Hint.. GOD)
Okay, so I got the information - What to do now?
(Hmm... How to process)
Ive been walking around with a bad attitude -
I guess I need to have a long sit down conversation with my flesh - obvisiously she didnt get the memo (your no longer in charge)
Hebrews 11 :6 But without faith it is impossible to please him...
Wow... who is this girl - who moves back and forth - in between the lines
P.S. my feelings are not my actions
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