I often ask GOD - what am I doing right?

(i wrote these words - for everyone - that struggles in their youth.... hahahaha - those arent my words - but Lauren's - how clever - then how sad that she's struggling right now - struggling & trying to find herself - Funny - back then - I was under the impression that she had found herself & was incomplete awh of her....)

Ive read several inspiritional , self-help and spiritual books.
In fact, I could write a few myself
I keep a tablet of quotes, bible verses, affirmations and prayers - that I have come across in my reading that fits me perfectly...
I use to keep post-its around the house - on doors - on my mirror - quotes - I wanted to be encouraged by daily...
I believe that developing a positive state of mind - takes a lot of work...
I believe that Im just trying anything - hoping that it will work.

I have an initial "hit the ceiling" reaction to negativity -
Truth is that - this reaction is never the real reaction I feel on the inside & most people will probably never see the real response I have to those situations.

What I use to want & what some people crave is life - Happily Ever After - I would encourage you not to read your children these books -
The earth is not full of fairy god-mothers - but it is full of good & evil
But at different times of your life - you can be on either side of that scenario

If you read these words every day for a year:
"the prize is always before and never behind you"
Would that stop you from looking back?
Would that take away the fear of trying something new?

I often find myself - asking GOD - what am I doing right - all these things you can possibly do wrong - how did you do it so... perfectly
In every way - we struggle to be perfect'
The perfect lover, perfect skin, ideal employee -
these are all added stresses...
however, Im suppose to keep my eye on the prize - when I just realized I was in competition with other people...

ok... got off track - bring it back to closure - I must say - Im happy... Not because Im rich, famous, 5 foot 8 and wanted by every man...
But Im happy, cause Im me...
Poor (compared to social standards) , clumsy, witty, making mistakes, learning from my mistakes, attractive (to the people Im suppose to be attractive to), party girl, risk taker, wine & martini drinker, sensitive, a good friend, a bad friend at times, vulnerable, apologetic, faithful, hopeful (and sometimes hopeless), and Im not finished adding on to that list...