So Far

So far...

So far Ive been eating terrible this week:
tonight its hot pockets, last night fried chicken & I managed to eat some McDondalds a couple of days before that

So far Im behind on my reading -
Every time I get home (close to 10pm) Im so tired - my intentions are good but my actions are weak

So far Im thinking I no longer like Cran-Raspberry as much as I like Cran-Grape

So far Im wondering if I will be able to catch up with old friends the way I want to and stop giving them excuses (so far, I have obligated myself to hang out with girlfriends next week and I still having managed to have lunch with Sandy)

So far its Tuesday and its still 3 more days left in this work week

First thing...

So many things to do - only have 3 more hours left in this day
Gotta wake up tomorrow and do it all over again

First thing I do:

First thing I do when I come in from a long day of work (after greeting my nieces, sister & brother-n-law). I turn on my heated mattress pad. I like to feel warm (just about all the time). I like the idea that lions lay in the sun and as a Leo (Lionness) myself - I have found it quite bliss to just let some sun rays - show me how clever God was when he created them.

(By the way - do not judge me for mentioning my astrological sign and God in the same paragraph - its not "that" deep over here - smile)

First thing I do when I get out the shower - I grab my towel - I do not dry off - but rather I walk to my bed and sit down to dry... Yep, I pretty much walk from the bathroom soak & wet. Only one had a problem with it

First thing I do when I wake up - Say the Lord's Prayer and think about where my first cup of coffee is coming from (chik-fil-a, my sister made it, or will I have to wait until I reach work, rarely to I hit the Starbucks traffic)

First thing I do when I get in the office - Peek at what everyone is doing (they are great fakers), get a cup of coffee (it will either be my first or my next half a cup) & check my emails

First thing I do when I see a cute guy - try NOT to look at him - these eyes are dangerous - lol

First thing I do when I walk into a rool - concentrate on not falling and then see who is looking at me and at what part of my anatomy

Im too tired to finish this - but I think I may have started something

5

First Thought:
Valentine's Day is tomorrow -
Do I try to go and pick up last minute gifts
or do I access my creative side and do something to knock their socks off?
hmmm...

Second Thought:
Im not the one to be made a whole lot of promises
Which is exactly why I no longer like to ask people to do things for me or to help me do something
or the other hand I like surprises
It prevents me from being disappointed if I know that you planned to help me out or do something for me/with and I wasnt even expecting it...

Third Thought:
Discipline
How do you break a bad habbit
I know the bible says to "flee temptation"
I guess this is a part of growing up
having more self-control

Forth Thought:
Hmmm... My mom used to say to me - obedience is better than sacrifice
I thought I had to sacrifice someone special to me last week
I thought that in one sense gotten out of making a decision even though Ive seemed to prolong it by not addressing the issue (there's a purple elephant in the room drinking coffee - lol)

Last Thought:
If I knew then - What I know now
Would I still make the same decision?
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about how I dont reveal the "real me" more. Seems as if I have convinced myself that the masses wont be able to understand this girl and so subpress - who she is, what she is - until there she is doing something "we" didnt know she would or could do
It is my own fault
It is on me
It is a problem I created
Thus, its a problem only I can solve
Just to think - I hated math in school

God Knows What's Best...

There are things I need to do
But Im scared

There are people that I need to talk to
But I dont speak

There are people who are hanging around my life
But they dont contribute

There are places I need to go
But I havent brought a ticket

There is something going on
But Im not sure what it is...

Only God Knows

Drinking Tea...

Yes Im fresh off of coffee and like Sade said/sung I...
"Feel No Pain"

Just thinking of how you can be so dependent on a substance. Things that make you go hmmm... (Like Arensio Hall)

Not too much to say
Still practicing silence
Still practicing listening
to whatever God has to say

He speaks to me
and sometimes my thoughts get in the way

Is that me I ask
or Him
am I suppose to do this
Do you really want me to stop taling to him

Go Left
cause you always go right

get some sleep
stop staying up all night

Its not supposed to be complicated
You already knew the answer before you asked a thousand questions
You already did your homework
Before you signed up for this lesson

What you think you dont know
You knew
Just remember
be true -
only to YOU

Stop second guessing
It is what it is

Everything is everything
its not a pop quiz

You dont have to explain yourself
or let others get into your mind
Dont say your sorry
Dont press rewind

Except the highest bidder
Your worth the price
Your something nice
to bring around
& that is why
they want you around

Read between the lines
and bring it all together
You managed to do it all
even with the frigid weather

you managed to prove them wrong
because they were planning your demise
funny now
you seem so confident
funny now
you can see pass the lies
you can
wipe water from your eyes
and make it float
beneathe you

Something about that girl
makes others
seek you

And when they come
And when HE comes
in the name of the father & the son
he will be the one

until then
Silence...

Flaws & All

Music Video:FLAWS & ALL (by Beyonce)

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