Here

Its been easy to sign on and change the theme song(s) that is now being played on my blog. Cant quite share as much as I used to. So much is going on and then at times -there is nothing going on.

I've always respected Jay-Z for his lyrics. Then again, any writer is attached to words because they seem to make up our being.

This life is very intriguing - to know that its all been planned out. He's just up there seeing if we are making the right choices before being pushed along the way.

I'm here trying to be myself
Trying not to follow all the rules because then I wouldn't have fun and it wouldn't be genuine.

I'm here and you are
where ever you should be
don't know if its with me
even when your physically with me

I'm here and you are
probably thinking of me
probably thinking that we
could continue to enjoy - each other's company
until then
we pretend
that we don't share a connection

I'm here and you are
on my mind
what I think of
Please don't waste my time

I have plenty of distractions
be something else
give me something good
something you would give yourself

I'm here and you are
more than I expected
even with all the data I've collected
I'm overwhelmed at times
I'm here
waiting - for more of this story to unwind

Lost Ones

Music Video:LOST ONE (FEAT. CHRISETTE MICHELE) (by Jay-Z)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

We make mistakes but God doesnt

I read this once: We make mistakes but GOD doesnt

Hmmm... So although I feel like I want to go back and correct the T's I forgot to cross or the I's I forgot to dot. Its too late - but maybe - (just hopefully, my GOD will work it out for my good)

Today, Im dealing with some aftershock. You know like when you get into a car accident and you just hoped that you were hurt enough to sue the bastard and/or get some extra money out of the idiot that hit you. I know people who have no problem signing up for physical therapy, missing work so that they can recover lost wages or the extreme wearing a brace around their neck. But then you realize this doesnt feel so good after all. This is actually an inconvenience to be sore, to be hurt, to feel discomfort.

I thought about what I wanted to say and because Im too darn smart for my own good - I over anaylze (just about everything).
Its funny - the bible says "Lean not to your own understanding" So, I asked around and it seems like it made it worst. Yep - its offically - you messed up.
Should - Coulda - Woulda and if that was me
Seems like always - there are too many rules to follow and Im just tired of it.
When am I going to be able to make a freggin mistake and get a chance to redeem myself?
Most inventors are known for making mistakes - time and time again, until they got it right.
If I can - I want to be in that mode, where I just keep working at it until its right and use the mistakes I've made as a tool to make it better.

The world seems so far away

The world seems so far away as I look at it through my near-sighted eyes. And who would of thought (surely not me) that I would need to see things so close up or with additional assistance.

I received this picture today - among other beautiful pictures from someone I thought I would be calling my sister-in-law.
Again, I say - the world seems so far away
and my new desire is to not even look that far (away)

I've been blessed with many things - but saying how I feel when I feel it is definetly not one of them.
If someone - anyone could see the process that I go through to define, catergorize or understanding what Im thinking or feeling. They would wait to see me reveal - what Im thinking or feeling (hopefully with patience).

Much too complicated - I find myself making smart remarks to people who disappoint me and/or piss me off. Its like my answer to them is to be cynical
By the time I realize what has really bothered me - it time for me to pull out my list of smart ass comments and fire away....

Its 6:41pm & I will be able to leave the office (somewhat early today). I am glad that my sister-in-law is back (in the office) but Im still completely able to take that trip to "pleasure town" (as of yet).

State of Being for the day: Moody and Werid

Moody because - I just dont want to be bothered. My phone rings & because I dont want to be nasty, I answer "some" calls. I realize that answer certain calls are a waste of my time and I really have nothing to say & so I go into silence as I think what a dumb conversation we are NOT having. I wait 2-5 minutes and talk about reading a book (however, its not a lie - but definetly a preference than being on the phone). Im moody because so many people want to have access to me and I think its a little selffish of them. Im moody beacause, I wish I had something to say and someone to say it to. Im moody because Im trying to stop drinking so much coffee - but its hard. Im moody because some body moved my cheese (no really) some body moved my lime juice that I've been using to put in my water. Im moody because I dont know how to sleep anymore - I used to sleep heavy, I used to relax - now Im so darn anxious. Im moody because I want to go somewhere - but dont know where and it bothers me that I can make a decision about something so simple. Im moody because I dont even know when is the next time Im going to have sex. Im moody...

Weird because I cant put my finger on it - but I know its there, I practically see it but cant get close enough to it.

I now have 8 minutes before I leave this place today and its weird that I actually get to leave this place early

Excuse me...

Music Video:EXCUSE ME MISS (by Jay-Z)

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